How I Wasted an Opportunity Due to Fear

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”

— Plato

It’s one thing when your ego tells you that you are not up to a task, but it’s harder to fight fear when those closest to you feed your hangups as well. My story would have a different outcome if only I had remembered three simple words: Yes I can. Often, we are quick to dismiss an opportunity because our ego has already decided that we will fail. We’ve heard the phrase that when one door closes, another one opens. This is fitting for when you cannot control an outcome and someone has closed the door on you. Perhaps you were made redundant at your job, or you didn’t get the artist grant that you applied for, or your poetry was rejected for publication, and so on. But when it’s your own hand that closes the door, be sure that you’re not making a fear-based decision like I did.

I had an opportunity arise after a successful project that I ran. Word of my success had reached an advertising firm in Melbourne and I received a phone call from the director of the firm. My project had impressed him because it was the first time he had seen social media being used to achieve a very public objective. He was so buzzed about it that he wanted his team to see my project as a fresh and exciting way to show initiative.

He asked me to come to Melbourne and meet his team, talk to them, and tell my story. The goal? For my project details to motivate and inspire his team.

While I was flattered and humbled at being asked, it was beyond daunting. Simply put, I was terrified. I froze with fear at what was expected of me, and I worried about what a motivating and inspiring talk should look and sound like.

I spoke to my family members about the request. They were just as surprised as I was. The first thing they wanted to know was if he was paying for it. I told them, no. What followed: You’re not very good at speaking in public. You’re too shy. You don’t have what it takes to engage a group in that way. Words to that effect, but the gist of their response was (as I interpreted it): You will flounder.

I listened to it all. Don’t get me wrong about my family; they can be very loving. In hindsight, I’ve come to realise that they were just mirroring what I felt about myself. Needless to say that I didn’t take up the firm’s offer. And I regret it to this very day.

I know there was a good chance that I would not have performed well; maybe I’d have shown zero charisma; maybe I’d have stumbled and stammered, and generally allowed my nerves to get the better of me. However, I am confident that something good would have come out of it — something always does when you get out of your comfort zone. I chose to let the opportunity go because I thought I was saving myself from the embarrassment of being out of my depth. For those trying to get their art noticed, and trying to build a platform, you know as well as I do that the world is getting noisier; attention is almost a luxury. I was offered a stepping stone with building my credibility as a creative and I said no.

Who knows how many other sub-opportunities died as a result of that decision. I was also saying no to a chance to grow.

To feel better about declining, I told myself that at least I wasn’t out of pocket. Today, I would not let that stop me; I would raise the funds to get myself there.

Alas, it is not a complete waste when you understand the lesson to be learnt. Here’s what I realised. It was never expressed by the director that I was to be a female Jack Canfield and blow them all away. I sabotaged the opportunity when I planted that idea in my mind, and expected that of myself. I had forgotten that it wasn’t my awkward public-speaking skills that caused me to succeed in my project. It was my photography; my self-expression and perspective via my creativity. Savour faire wasn’t what the director was asking of me. It was my story and my authenticity. They wanted to meet the person behind the voice of the project.

This is what it looks like when you let fear govern your path. When you are handed an opportunity, keep a positive outlook and remember your strengths. Don’t do what I did and think of everything that could go wrong. Think of everything that can go right. Even though I would have had to invest in the trip, I believe it would have been worth it. Every cent.